First Treatment Pitch - FEEDBACK

After giving our first pitch to the teacher, we then gathered a lot of feedback to work with to progess onto a new or improved treatment. here is the feedback we was given;




- What is th idea behind the story
- cheating - a good concept. like the way it's chinese originated, the red string of fate idea, being tied to your soul mate
- where did the idea come from
what is the characters actual motive, whats her backstory for her behaviour
- i like the theme though, could visually show more of it, more of the string
- focus more on red string idea, make it more interesting, set the message in an interesting way
- and the message needs to be more clearer, more tighter
- initial thought of what its about is that 'pride comes before fall'
- but you need to show more of her character, why is she the way she is, whats her backstory/motive, who is she and why?
- quite a few character, 4 in total, realisticlly possible?
- maybe you can suggest she is seeing 3 different guys without actually featuring them in the film? (through gifts, phone calls, cards etc)
- how can you show the guys commitment towards the woman more effectively, that they are in love with her or falling in love
- make more of the chinese idea the USP
- need a moment, a turning point, moment of shock, to really establish something big happening
- sotry may be to long, is it possible to portray all this effectively in the given time limits