Treatment 1 - redraft

The redraft for our treatment went well but we felt our story and characters was self motivated.
The main character the 'Woman' is seeing three men at once. we thought of building an establishing scene that focuses on the world of this character, the woman, introducing the audience the this character and allowing the audience to gain some familularity with who this person is. Applying make-up ,and a basic morning routine, however we've brainstormed idea's of prop use to convey her personality, using the props in an exaggerated way to emphasise her vanity, an we brainstormed ideas of the story, such as photos of her various boyfriends in the shot and with friends and many people to convey her live/busy social life
Plot points -
Establishing the 3 relationships.
They want commitment.
When she can not commit, they break up.
She's left alone.
The message was based off of my idea of White Lies, and how they return to haunt you .By cheating purely because she wanted attention, she couldn't commit and return the feelings of her men, this way she doomed herself to becoming what she fears the most. Alone.
Overall this how we visualise our film so far.
Beginning with shots of the Woman, close up, almost snap shots of her different features and movements, so we get a sense of her character and the The world around her, without revealing all, easing the audience in. (considering using a phone to introduce soundtrack music.)
We then see a abstract scene, the woman standing in the centre of a room, red strings tied to her fingers leading to three male figures.
For the scene of introducing the three men, we imagine a spilt screen into thirds, similar to that in 500 Days OF Summer, this would be a great way to show the simultaneous relationships, with the Woman with a different man in each screen, doing to same actions.Presenting how she's using them, rather than each man being individual to her.This would also have a comfortable, story telling feel to the scene.
As the couples in the three screens reach there destination (a date setting - a cafe?) the screens merge into one, an overlaying image of all the mens hands opening a door.
We have action, reaction shots of each man sitting in the date setting, talking to the woman, with each transition back and forth, its a different boyfriend.
The men start to reach forward, asking for more commitment.
We return to the abstract scene, the woman is now tangled in the string, while the men are pulling it tighter.
We return to the date scene, using a circular pan around the cafe, each time it returns to the couple, she's arguing with a different man of the three
Once again we have simultaneous shots of the men leaving.
The woman is left alone.
She's left alone, with the strings broken around her